in every season

it's been an exhausting couple of months, to say the least. i often find myself just trying to convince my body and mind to keep going. some days it feels as though all i can do is just trudge through it. if i can just make it up the stairs- if i can just make it through this appointment- if i can just make it through this hurt-if i can just make it through these two years- if i can just... make it. i just have to push through. but christ has been doing some amazing things in my heart, too. this life is not just about "trudging" through it. there is no point in that. because this time we spend on the earth, is just a thought, just a glimpse of a second, in the eyes of eternity. and when i think about things like that, in the proper way, there is no worth in me just "trudging" through. that is glorifying no one and nothing, except my brokenness and tiredness. and i have no desire to glorify those things. those are slight, temporary, earthly things, that will die. they will not come with me to my Father's Home. i must keep my eyes fastened to Him- He who will never fade. so i am not going to just "trudge" through this. i am going to dance my way though this time i have on the earth, and i am going to spend every moment of it with my King.
so i am grateful for the ways that Christ is teaching me. i pray that He would never stop showing me Himself in new and incredible ways.

i am grateful that we serve a God who is so worthy. there is no season that i could ever find myself in, that He would no longer be worthy of praise. isn't that incredible? no matter what is going on, and i mean, ANYTHING, He is still God. and we have reason to sing and praise and worship. i find such hope and peace in that. and so today, and tomorrow, and every day, no matter how much is on my plate, what is going on, what is ahead, what seems to be falling apart, i will worship. because He is worthy.

Months later...

It has been way too long! But I'm still focusing on gratitude.

I have become grateful for Facebook. (I was determined to stay strong and not succumb to society's obsession with FB... but I have been proven wrong. God is present in Facebook!) So I apologize for time that is spent on FB, and not here!

I am grateful for the people Christ has put in my life... it's been a quite difficult couple of months, and yet, amidst all the pain and struggle, I have been surrounded by amazing people, who have upheld me, when my strength has worn out. They are continually lifting me before the Throne... and bringing me back to my knees. I'm eternally grateful for them... for their encouraging texts, for their "just checking in" phonecalls, for their "i'm thinking about you" posts on my wall, for their "you're not alone" hugs, for their "we're not giving up on your healing" reminders, for their "stop and tell me what's going on" talks in the hall, I could go on and on... I'm so grateful. God has given me everything I could ever ask for or imagine. I'm praying that He would never let that thought leave my mind, no matter what is going on around me.

One Day

I'm grateful that one day, there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more fears... the burdens of this world will be no longer... and we will be with Jesus. What an incredible thing... what hope that has. This is all temporary. One day, there will be no more pain or hurt... it will be joy- all the time- for eternity, with our King! I'm grateful for the hope in that.

New Small Group Leaders

I am grateful for a new small group leader! I teach a second grade "small group" (sunday school!), of 27 kids... which is huge! And it's been getting out of control lately... and our wonderful fabulous awesome director, MC, found a new small group leader! Who will be taking 1/2 of our kids... it's amazing. God has been doing amazing things in our ministry. For years we've been praying, God, bring them to us, bring us kids, do amazing things in UpStreet, use us, send us, God bring it. And this year, HE HAS BROUGHT IT! And now He is giving us the people and supplies to do amazing things with the kids He's brought us. I'm sooo grateful. I cannot wait for next Sunday! Please be praying for our kids and their families, as it might be a little strange the first couple weeks with the "split", but I know that this is the best option! The kids can actually get some personal attention now... it's great.
Praise God! :o)

Christ Defends

I'm grateful that Christ defends the poor and needy. So so grateful. We are all broken and needy... but sometimes Jesus truly breaks my heart nearly in half. It's been funny tonight, how Jesus is piecing everything together. At KidStuf, our church's elementary school ministry's monthly "family event", the Bible verse was Proverbs 31:9... "Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." And then, I came home, and was working on my project for World Affairs, on Conflict Diamonds... and I came across this photo.

Notice that this father's hands are missing. He was a survivor of Sierra Leone's mines. Another poster I saw showed an African woman, whose hands had also been cut off, and the caption said (as if speaking to an American bride), "I can't wear a wedding ring, so you can."

Confession? Until this week, I had never heard of conflict diamonds. For those of you who haven't heard of them, they are diamonds that are mined and illegally traded to fund conflict in war-torn areas. They tend to exist, when resources are found in country's whose governments cannot handle it. Captives are taken, and forced to work the mines, and the money is then spent on furthering military action, typically against the current governing body. Their hands are chopped off, as a symbol to prevent them from voting and to prevent them from farming rice, that would feed the army. These people are being mutilated and abused and enslaved... In the Democratic Republic of Congo alone, an estimated 3 million people have died as a result of conflict diamonds. It's disturbing. And yet, I had never heard of it.

Jesus, I thank You that You defend the poor and the needy, and that You call us to do the same. Lord I pray that You would use each of us, in any way that You desire, to rescue our brothers and sisters and to lead them to You. Jesus I pray that You free Your People from their enslavement, and that You glorify Yourself through it. I pray that You would mold the hearts of the captive, to come to forgive their capturers. I pray that You would continue to break my heart and to humble me. I thank You tonight, for the abundant blessings You have poured out on me... as I am free, free to live for You, and free from enslavement. Jesus, I am eternally grateful. You are amazing, Lord. We pray this in Your Glorious and Holy Name! Amen!

Creation

I'm grateful for and amazed by Creation. By God's Creation. By His Craftmanship and Creativity in creating the Earth. These pictures are from our trip to California we took this summer... and I think they are an incredible, yet tiny, glimpse into the Glory of God's Creation. And I love to just think, if this is how amazing the Work of His Hands is, how amazing His Hands must be. Our God is incredible. I'm grateful for Creation.

Breaking Chains

I'm grateful for Jesus dying on the cross, to set us free from the chains of this world. I'm grateful that He has given us a way out. I'm grateful that we don't have to go through the "motions" of this world... My friend ADS told me to check this song out, and it moves me... I'm tired of going through "the motions". I'm grateful for second chances to break away from the ways of this world.

Jesus, I don't want to go through the motions of this world. Jesus I'm tired of the ways of this world. I know it will not be easy, I know I will have to totally rely on You, but Jesus something has to change. Do whatever it takes in me, to change me. I don't want to have any regrets. Jesus, help my heart to defeat my mind. Take me all the way, Daddy. No more motions. Here's my life, again, dear Jesus. I love You. Amen.

The Motions, by Matthew West
This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way

Here's the link for the video!